who has experience brining a turkey? recommendations? antirecommendations?

go look.
http://www.designanddevelop.ca/images/portfolio/print/kwlt-three-tall-women-poster.jpg

:)

tres sexy :)

I went through a bit of depression earlier this month. It was a combination of the after-effects of having been fired yet again after such a short time, having become exhausted with trying to do full-time work while being self-employed, and stressed with a whole bunch of different things.

One of the stresses I'm trying to manage is that loved_by_2 has discovered a lot of anxiety-related issues over the past year. While it has created some tension here and there between us, and some misunderstandings, he's committed to working on what he needs to. He has been working hard on it, and seems to understand the larger picture day by day. He's accepted that this is something long-term that he needs to manage in a variety of ways. That's been one of the hardest adjustments for him.

What's hardest is that all of this stuff was hidden in the context of his marriage. Without it, he's able to see himself for who he is, rather than who he was for her. He's able to separate his crap from hers and mine now. He seems to believe that makes him crazier than I am, but I don't consider it a comparable situation. It's not about who's "crazier than thou" but about how we manage our individual stuff with each other in a relationship.

One of my other stresses has been in wanting to go out and do social things, but not having the energy or time to do that. Everything at R happens on weekends, and it's turned cold, which is always a disincentive for me to go out and do stuff. It's made me into a hermit who has fantasies of going out socially, but never really goes out and does it. That's sucky. I'm feeling so disconnected with everything but the kink community right now, because I have the most contact with those folks.

I'm going to be working over the next little while on creating better balance in my life between work and non-work, so I can be my social self again. This much isolation isn't good for me, emotionally. I get my energy from socializing, and I've just not done much of that in a long time.

mood: hopeful tags: allan, depression, renegade

Tonight's RENEGADE party is called Solar Nexus. It's a party over the longest night of the year (though that's really in a couple of days). They have a number of performances, DJs, started with a yoga session and a community supper, and has all vegan food and drink. There are two video screens up, showing a variety of stuff. There have been bellydancers. There's a really nice, laid back vibe with a pagan feel, which is comforting to me, since these are sorta my own peeps, but the extreme version, to some extent. This goes to 6am.

I'm really, really glad to see people enjoying the creative possibilities of the space for the first time. They've decorated with cloth, textile hangings, video art and beautifully done, round promo cards.

Things have been kinda stressy in R-ville lately. Communication problems and misaligned expectations have made me tense. It created tension outward, as well. I feared that the arrangement wouldn't work out as planned, for the reasons I'd feared since the beginning. As it turns out, a wake-up call was delivered just in the nick of time. I'm holding back on taking action for now because it still has the potential to be awesome.

I've got stuff booked every single Saturday booked in January, and all but one in February as well. I've got double-bookings sometimes. There are workshops planned and a workshop series being offered throughout weekends in Jan/Feb. More are already booked for early March!

I'm finally starting to get some questions about using the space for stuff like life drawing, yoga, socials, meetings, etc. I've got a birthday prom party, a surprise birthday party/collaring, and all kinds of stuff starting to happen here. I've been letting after-hours folks rent, but if things go as they seem to, perhaps I can wean off them faster than I expected. I really don't like having the risk of running them very much, nor does my property manager.

I'm hopeful, seeing how people are enjoying the space, that once I get a few more dollars put into improving the heating system and blocking off some of the colder drafts, it will be even more hospitable and enjoyable. I just have to get over the December hump. This is the only renter I have in December until New Year's Eve. It's a VERY thin month, but the next two are quite full, so I hope that makes up for it. I'm hoping that helps pay for some needed upgrades to the space, like adding curtains to stop drafts, make the entrance more separate, add finishing touches to the washrooms, etc.

I'm looking forward to some downtime from Monday night to NYE in Stratford. I feel like I need to recharge and renew after having gone through the first three months and having so much coming up. I want to take a running start at it as the calendar turns.

That's where things are for RENEGADE. On to what's going on for me in another post....

location: RENEGADE mood: content music: DJ tunes spinning tags: renegade, visionthang

 I unfriend someone today, purely for the picture comments.  Sadly, this did not remove his posts from my feed.

Kinda pointless then isn't it?